Have you ever been unfortunate enough to endure an existential dilemma? Me neither. Ever wondered why people have them in the first place?? Perhaps wAy too much free time resulting in inevitable idle thoughts; the kind that led the likes of Sir Newton (who was pretty awesome by the way + was born on 25th Dec using the Julian calendar) to discover why things fall...down...& not anywhere else.What sort of days did philosophers really live through?? I can't imagine how anyone in this day would sit for hours on end merely to reflect on life's deeper meaning &...wait, I should probably stop this Idleville-bound train of thought in its tracks. Yes, friends, the gravity of this issue cannot be stressed enough! So I won't.
Anyway, not too long ago, Alexandra suffered a harrowing, almost tragic ordeal that left her in a state. She almost drowned. *Moment of deep...dark sealence* [yeah, I said it] Going through what she did would undoubtedly leave the best of us in similar states; braving untold anguish right after, waking up from recurring night terrors & reliving the traumatic experience for years to come. In the days that followed, her face would regularly show signs of unresponsiveness to my incessant pleas and prodding. I couldn't quite push her buttons as I used to. What soon followed was a series of abrupt blackouts that left me devastated. So, before we continue, I should probably tell you that Alex is my very own devoted, trusted & beloved cell phone.
And that's how my technologically advanced rectangular slab acquired its free will complex! She goes off when it suits her & comes back on at will. *Katy Perry's hot n cold ringtone goes off in background* I have no control whatsoever over her actions and any attempt to rehabilitate her is largely pointless.
Despair.
Is communication really that important??? (We shall address this highly philosophical issue at a later date).
Replacement. Seemingly the only plausible solution. So I get an archaic Nokia in her stead and all's well in the aftermath of my post-apocalyptic GSM world till the new girl - let's call her Geraldine - decides to violently crush her moral compass & cheats on me..I mean, cheats me about text deliveries. It's a sad sad outrage!! Who..what does that!?!?!?!? Such inhumanity should ideally be punishable by death via decapitation, defenestration & other similar de-words with similar effects! Exasperated sigh... Such is my plight!
Moral of the story? Do we really need one? Do we?!
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